Potpourri of Life
You can call them my best friends
Family, supports or people in my life
They being splendour of strength to me
Three pillars, completing the fourth side
The first one brought me into this world
Another is blood, born to the same mother
And the third is part soul; calls me mommy
I always have these three women for me
© 2020 Charu Gupta and Potpourri of life.
It was 21st September; I felt this unusual pain in my tummy. It was like high tides; mounting with full aggression and then sinking as a calm wave. The frequency increased. My mother in-law rushed me to the nursing home. Death would be less painful; I was howling and throbbing in that superlative pain.
It was all wet…. My water bag burst!
I was hurried to the delivery room.
“Push! Push with all your strength.” “You have to concentrate and give a strong PUSH!”
I collected all my physical, mental and emotional strength and PUSHED….
My baby! My angel! World of my happiness has finally out in this world!
The umbilical cord connecting you and me was cut….
Leaving behind the comfort and safe abode of her for nine months; from womb to our home.
Soon you experienced all the discomforts and comforts of being alive! You cried to tell- “feed me.” You cried to say- “clean me.” And you smiled to the comfort of my lap; and you giggled to see your dad.
With your tiny feet you took the first step. How ecstatic I felt when the first time you uttered “Ma”! And each day you grew; adjusting and adapting into the world outside me.
“Push her!” “You have to PUSH her into the school bus…..”
You were sobbing and clenched me. This time it was even more painful….i was not howling but something inside me was dreadfully worried as if a part of me was splitting but again I pushed you out of the comfort and safety of your home into a new world….; I pushed you into this world which is meant for the survival of the fittest.
And the brace between you and me was broken……
Step by step, class by class you raised yourself. You bloomed and equipped yourself to conquer the hearts. One after another you filled the shelves with achievements. You made our cores inflated with pride! Praises, fames, love and respect, all you earned.
“Push!” “Push her…..she needs to go…..”
Ahh! Again for the last time, I have to push you…. Will I be able to survive the pain this time!? Irrespective of the pain and my fate; I’m going to push you into the world of your dreams. Go carve your destiny, live your life as you want. The whole new world is going to unfold for you…. Fly away from the nest because you have to scale the heights and fly beyond the sky! Go! The beautiful life is waiting to embrace you!
And I’m going to set you free….
I’m going to PUSH you the last time…..
© 2018 Charu Gupta and Potpourri of life.
While walking I got talking
With a teenage chubby boy
Huffed and puffed all sweat scuffed
Slacking on the fitness track
Hey dear! Not seen you before
Yes aunty, I’m new on this shore
Well, I can see your mamma’s love
Rounded you in each possible curve!
Oops! I had embarrassed the boy!
He just managed a crony smile
And here he exposed the hidden treasure
All whites with black patches
Some pits filled and some just drilled!
Oh dear! I guess you are fond of fizz
Chocolates, cheese and ice-creams
Yesss! I love them all!
Happy or sad, fail or pass
My mamma always ready to treat
I smirked and took a lead
Left behind the boy struggling on his feet
How deprived my children are
Of such motherly love!
© 2018 Charu Gupta and Potpourri of life.
Date: Today
Subject: Please don’t burden my child with your expectations
Respected Teacher/ School
I feel humble and obliged whenever you appreciate my daughter for her academic achievements (purely based on marks). Recently she has taken her board exams (12th grade final exams). For many parents and students it’s the time to feel relaxed and stress-free as the exams are over but not for us. My daughter is still having sleepless nights, anxiety plunges and often feels paranoid about the result (again the marks).
So far, in most of the PTMs, we have been told that she has the caliber to come first in the class (on the bases of marks most of the times she stood 3rd or 2nd in her class). And in her pre-boards finally she fulfilled your expectations and came 1st!
My daughter has been told that she has to score 100 percent marks in most of the subjects as she is capable. (Every year you bet on couple of students to score 100 percent in their boards)
My daughter was constantly under pressure to live up to your expectations! As a mother I have seen her putting every single effort into the studies to score your expected 100 percent! I have seen her going into a downhearted state after each exam where she was scared of losing 4-5 marks. Exam after exam I had seen her trembling with the thought – what if I could not achieve a perfect score! And it reached the crescendo in the last exam – and she left one question unattended although she knew the answer.
What if my mother wasn’t there to accompany her home from the examination center that day?
She was sobbing profoundly; in deep sorrow and devastated. No parent would like to see their child in so much distress and trauma, it was indeed heart wrenching.
I’m sorry to say but please stop putting your highly ambitious expectations on my child. Your track record is not my child’s liability. If you want to flaunt the number of 100 percent achievers taught by you then please spare my child; don’t count on her for your own trophies. Stop telling her that she is one of the brightest children and she should get nothing less than perfect score. Please stop motivating her to be first or to be the highest scorer. Don’t suffocate my child with the pressure to continuously score the highest marks.
It would be really appreciable if you had told her to give her best shot or to put in her honest effort and achieve her best! It would be truly motivating if you had told her to be satisfied and proud of her achievements irrespective of her rank in the class.
Grades or marks will not decide my child’s worth. I condemn the system where marks are the criteria of a child’s capabilities. I strongly disagree that only high marks are going to ensure a bright future for her. I refuse to put my child in the race to come first; she needs not to defeat someone else to realize her self-worth.
I would be proud of my child even if she scores a little less than your expectations but dares to live her life as she wants with all the empathy and self-esteem.
Thanking you
A mother
© [Charu Gupta] and [Potpourri of life] [2018].
Charu 