Enlightenment @40

Have you ever done a meditation course? Something like the Art of Living or Deepak Chopra’s meditation…Well these programs never attracted me until a few days back one of my dear friends proposed to join one of such online courses (Yeah, online on WhatsApp! Calm your senses at just one touch!). I agreed not because of the course but for my friend and also to know ‘what actually they do to enlighten you in fifteen minutes!’ So the group was formed and dos and don’ts were dictated. No irrelevant message was allowed (mind it all the members were school friends) and the day one task was given. The first task itself got me mulling over. Somehow I cajoled myself to go for it with all the positivity. I must admit it wasn’t easy especially to shut up my talkative mind and focus on my inner self during the chanting of mantras. The background music was soothing and it did relax me for those ten minutes. I’m still moving ahead each day in the hope to see some change in my state (though I’m quite comfortable with my current disposition) and to test my endurance to complete this 21 days program. Yesterday I got a task to make a list of people around me or known to me who I feel are taking away my energy…people that make me feel uncomfortable. They could be anyone from family members to friends, colleagues or neighbours. I need to write a blessing in front of each name.

I sat down with the notebook that I have made for this 21 days course to list down the names. I was sure to make a long list as there were many who pissed me off and gave me sleepless nights. I started thinking, first from the family and I knew whose name to write but then…Does that person still bothers me? And guess what …No. I dropped that name to add later if required and moved to write few names of the colleagues. I wrote a name ….Does she still makes me mad? No. I erased. I thought of a so called friend who always tried to show superiority over my thoughts.  Again, that name did not make it to the list! Have I become sane? Suddenly all those creepy creatures who once rolled over my nerves become immaterial for me. A couple of years back I was not like this. It was so easy for anyone to get my blood rushing and my tone raising but today it’s only my kids and husband who occasionally experience my fierce side. Is something wrong with me? Or is it something to do with ageing?

I’m in early forties and for many it is synonymous to the term ‘Mid-life crises’ but turn your perspective a little, clear your glasses and look again…..’ Mid-life bliss’!  Yes, this is what I’m experiencing. I have become more enlightened in my fifth decade of arrival. Sample some of my awakenings …..

I have accepted myself – the way I look is just perfect. That broad forehead and little more than five feet height makes me beautiful. I love my reflection in the mirror with my imperfect nose and not so elegant jawline.

I know how to distance from toxic people– Arguments can’t change the other person and nor your goodness. Shut the door at them and don’t let their venomousness flow into your lovely heart. I love to be around with my family, friends and people who make me feel happy and wanted.

No validation required–  As they say life is a marathon between birth and death and I want to run my marathon as I want- No approvals required. This is my life and only my life and I want to craft it my way even if others disapprove my plan. If you like me, good enough and if not I don’t care.

No more heartbreaks–  The golden rule is if you want to avoid heart breaks then stop expecting. I am learning not to expect a return favour or compliment or action from people. No I’m not becoming a saint but I had troubled my heart enough with my expectations. It’s not that I do not expect but now I know whom to expect or rather demand. I hold those who love me close to my heart and they never disappoint me.

No meditation or program could make you a better person until you yourself want to be. I’m continuing with my 21 days meditation program but I guess my enlightenment has already happened! Hey friend I trust you as a well-wisher and love you for all the positivity but I’m sorry I am leaving this page empty…nobody can take away my energy or disturb my peace of mind.

© 2019 Charu Gupta and Potpourri of life.