Enlightenment @40

Have you ever done a meditation course? Something like the Art of Living or Deepak Chopra’s meditation…Well these programs never attracted me until a few days back one of my dear friends proposed to join one of such online courses (Yeah, online on WhatsApp! Calm your senses at just one touch!). I agreed not because of the course but for my friend and also to know ‘what actually they do to enlighten you in fifteen minutes!’ So the group was formed and dos and don’ts were dictated. No irrelevant message was allowed (mind it all the members were school friends) and the day one task was given. The first task itself got me mulling over. Somehow I cajoled myself to go for it with all the positivity. I must admit it wasn’t easy especially to shut up my talkative mind and focus on my inner self during the chanting of mantras. The background music was soothing and it did relax me for those ten minutes. I’m still moving ahead each day in the hope to see some change in my state (though I’m quite comfortable with my current disposition) and to test my endurance to complete this 21 days program. Yesterday I got a task to make a list of people around me or known to me who I feel are taking away my energy…people that make me feel uncomfortable. They could be anyone from family members to friends, colleagues or neighbours. I need to write a blessing in front of each name.

I sat down with the notebook that I have made for this 21 days course to list down the names. I was sure to make a long list as there were many who pissed me off and gave me sleepless nights. I started thinking, first from the family and I knew whose name to write but then…Does that person still bothers me? And guess what …No. I dropped that name to add later if required and moved to write few names of the colleagues. I wrote a name ….Does she still makes me mad? No. I erased. I thought of a so called friend who always tried to show superiority over my thoughts.  Again, that name did not make it to the list! Have I become sane? Suddenly all those creepy creatures who once rolled over my nerves become immaterial for me. A couple of years back I was not like this. It was so easy for anyone to get my blood rushing and my tone raising but today it’s only my kids and husband who occasionally experience my fierce side. Is something wrong with me? Or is it something to do with ageing?

I’m in early forties and for many it is synonymous to the term ‘Mid-life crises’ but turn your perspective a little, clear your glasses and look again…..’ Mid-life bliss’!  Yes, this is what I’m experiencing. I have become more enlightened in my fifth decade of arrival. Sample some of my awakenings …..

I have accepted myself – the way I look is just perfect. That broad forehead and little more than five feet height makes me beautiful. I love my reflection in the mirror with my imperfect nose and not so elegant jawline.

I know how to distance from toxic people– Arguments can’t change the other person and nor your goodness. Shut the door at them and don’t let their venomousness flow into your lovely heart. I love to be around with my family, friends and people who make me feel happy and wanted.

No validation required–  As they say life is a marathon between birth and death and I want to run my marathon as I want- No approvals required. This is my life and only my life and I want to craft it my way even if others disapprove my plan. If you like me, good enough and if not I don’t care.

No more heartbreaks–  The golden rule is if you want to avoid heart breaks then stop expecting. I am learning not to expect a return favour or compliment or action from people. No I’m not becoming a saint but I had troubled my heart enough with my expectations. It’s not that I do not expect but now I know whom to expect or rather demand. I hold those who love me close to my heart and they never disappoint me.

No meditation or program could make you a better person until you yourself want to be. I’m continuing with my 21 days meditation program but I guess my enlightenment has already happened! Hey friend I trust you as a well-wisher and love you for all the positivity but I’m sorry I am leaving this page empty…nobody can take away my energy or disturb my peace of mind.

© 2019 Charu Gupta and Potpourri of life.

I never thought to live it again

I never thought to live it again

The years that gone with age

But my dreams are turning true

With each glory to your name

You standing on the pedestal

And it’s me bestowed with the medals

The worlds you see, the friends you make

I travel with you in the snow n rain

The exotic meal at the café

And all the splendor of the new land

I’m there enjoying all the merry

As you soar to live your desires

And set to discover odyssey of life

I can feel the air and see myself flying

Live like there won’t be another day

And don’t let any dream fade

I’m there with you in your smiles

In tough turns and daring dives

I am excited to live in rewind

As today I turned nineteen again!

Happy Birthday, Princess!

Have you invested your money wisely?

It’s been more than six months since our daughter left home and headed to the United States for her higher education but the concerns of our ‘Friends and Relatives’ have not ended yet! Sample some-

“You guys have taken a very daring (stupid) decision…I would have never done such a thing (stupidity)!”

“Don’t we have good colleges in India? Why to the US??”

“OMG! So much money, few thousands would be enough for Delhi University, you should have saved money for the future.”

“Is it safe in the US? Drugs, culture, and guns, how will you keep a check on her?….hope your girl remains on the right path…”

Well, with our folded hands, we want to ‘thank’ all those who are so much concerned about our money and child. Their ‘worry’ for our future makes us filled with ‘gratitude’ but we are sorry we have no sense of right ‘investment’.

We have invested all our hard earned money and whatever little we had saved into our kids’ brains.

We are stupid not to leave behind jewelry, fixed deposits, property or bank balance for our children’s future. And without a thought we are ready to invest even the last penny into their education; that probably makes us morons!

I should have kept my girl tucked to my bosom to keep her safe instead of sending her so far to explore the world. She should have nurtured under our prying eyes instead of learning by her mistakes. Instead of providing a compact ‘safe’ Delhi environment we had sent her to the US to discover different cultures and people from all over the world…how insensitive we are! What if our girl goes on the wrong path and brings disgrace to the family? We must not have had so much faith in our upbringing and values. How could we have so much confidence in her to make her confident; she is a girl and we should always protect her instead of making her self-reliant?

We accept we are mindless foolish people to invest totally into our children’s education, to make them independent and to provide the world to explore, to trust our raising and see our future in their future. We feel obliged by all the advises coming from our ‘well-wishers’ and humbly request them not to take too much stress for our investment plan; we have already made an investment.

 

 

Let them…

Let them think, I’m nobody
Let them believe, I’m an ignoramus
Let them laugh on my failed plans
Let them consider they are more
Maybe it’s their way to exist
To boost their depleting self
The emptiness of their aimless life
They need to condemn me to survive
I smile on what they are convinced to be true
Who cares! When I know who I am…

© 2020 Charu Gupta and Potpourri of life.

मेरे हिस्से का आसमान

कुछ मिट्टी के बर्तन, कुछ कांच के मर्तबान
सूखा कैरी का अचार, आटे खांड के लड्डू
आंगन में एक नीम का पेड़, निवाड की खाट
मुझे चाहिए बस अपने हिस्से का आसमान
ऊंची इमारतों के बंद घरों में सांस कुछ कम आती है
नरम गद्दों पर मैं अक्सर करवटें बदलती हूं
सड़क पर दौड़ती कारें ज़िंदगी को पीछे छोड़ चली हैं
लोगों की भीड़ में भी कितना अकेला सफर है
एक कच्चा रास्ता, कभी तालाब तो कभी खेत तक जाता
धूप छांव की दोपहरी में मटके का सोंधा पानी
गुड़ की डली, दूध का कुल्लड़ और तारों की चादर
बस इतना सा ही तो आसमान चाहिए मुझे


© 2020 Charu Gupta and Potpourri of life.

Three women in my life

You can call them my best friends

Family, supports or people in my life

They being splendour of strength to me

Three pillars, completing the fourth side

The first one brought me into this world

Another is blood, born to the same mother

And the third is part soul; calls me mommy

I always have these three women for me

 

© 2020 Charu Gupta and Potpourri of life.

Choose!

Keep walking into the dark in the hope of light
Or surrender, and gasp at the darkness within
Stare at the overcast night sky in the hope of a star
Or shut the lids and see nothing beyond
Ambled on the red barren in the hope of an oasis
Or relinquish and drown in your own sweat
Hold on to the last thread in the hope to step up
Or release the grip and fall into the hollow
Spatter the ocean with might in the hope to float
Or give up and let the water fill in to sink
Choose! Want to put up a great show
Or abandon the chance to show up!


© 2020 Charu Gupta and Potpourri of life.

दर्द को न्यौता..ये तो बस मेहमान हैं

Hey Folks!

This is my first collaboration with a fellow writer – Meenakshi sharma

Sometime back , I wrote a poem in
 Hindi : . ये तो बस मेहमान हैं.  
Around the same time I came across Meenakshi’s poem : दर्द को न्यौता 
I was pleasantly surprised to see that our writing styles are very similar . And though our expression matched , our idea  behind our respective poems were totally different! To capture this uniqueness , we ended up collaborating. 

 We  take this opportunity to invite all of you to share your ideas / poems with us here , on the topic : ग़म और ख़ुशी 

We have put together our juxtaposed ideas in a dialogue format. Hope you all find it interesting. Happy reading ! 

Charu : ग़म हो या ख़ुशी – सब मेहमान हैं
              आते- जाते रहेंगे।
               रुकेंगे दो पल , कुछ बातें करेंगे,
               तुम भी बस बात करना ,
               दिल से न लगाना। 

Meenakshi: ऐ दर्द  न्योोता  देेेती हूं,
                 आज शाम चाय पे आ जाना। 
                 चोटें और ज़ख्म भी आएंगे , 
                 तन्हाई संग ले आना। 

Charu :  न समझना रोकने  से  रुकेेंगे ,   
               या कहने से चले जाएंगे। 
               मेहमान हैं, बिन बुलाए आते हैं , 
               और अपनी मर्ज़ी से जाते हैं। 

Meenakshi : ख़ुशी तो मानो बस हि गई थी, 
                घर करने को डट हि गई थी।
                पराई सी मुझे तो लगती थी, 
                मेहमान कहां अच्छे लगते इतने दिन! 

Charu :  ग़म आए तो मुस्कुराना , 
               वो ‘ हिम्मत ‘ से डरता है । 
               ख़ुशी आए तो भी बस मुस्कुराना, 
               वो ज़्यादा ‘ खुशी ‘से सर चढ़ती है।

Meenakshi  : आज तो  चाांद भी  ना निकलेगा, 
                रात बड़ी हि गहरी होगी । 
                कुछ किस्से मेरे तुम सुनना ,
                कुछ अपनी सुनाना।

Charu :  तुम बस स्वागत करना, 
              हिम्मत से मुस्कुरा कर अपने घर में ।
               ये तो बस मेहमान हैं , 
               आते जाते रहेंगे। 

 Meenakshi :  वापस क्या सब जाओगे , 
                रात यहीं पर रुक जाना।

 Meenakshi’s articulate writing has inspired many writers and bloggers .  Her closer to life, idiomatic poems and write ups have drawn several like me , to revisit her work , time and again please connect
https://srijanaatma.wordpress.com


Facebook page : srijanaatma@miracle2612

If I could reach you…

If I could reach to you…
I’ll kiss on your cheek
And tell I love you
Rest your head on my lap
Gently massage and untangle the strands
Place a tub of tepid water
Under your fatigued feet
Sponge bath you with utmost care
And when you are tired sitting for long
I’ll place a cushion under your head
Pat your forehead with all my love
Comforting your pains and fears

See you sliding into sleep
I’ll sit there holding my tears
Looking at the stitches you bear
The pale face and the fragile frame
Don’t worry my sis now I’m here
How I wish! I could reach to you…

© 2020 Charu Gupta and Potpourri of life.